Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
