So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
