the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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