She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
