Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
