I'm pants shitting drunk right now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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