why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
