He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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