It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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