Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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