We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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