yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
