I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize