Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need a beard to bite.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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