It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
