yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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