Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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