Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
