I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
