My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
