i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just invented taco cereal.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
