Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
