You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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