Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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