you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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