she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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