I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I got chris browned last night
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
