Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He felt like a one man threesome
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
