the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
accomplished twins. life is a go
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
