I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
