I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
