I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
