i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
