we made out on top of his cat.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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