There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
