and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
