If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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