i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
