Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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