is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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