so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
