When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
