I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
