this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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