I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
