Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
