before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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