I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
