I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
