I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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