drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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