drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
another moral hangover. fuck.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
