Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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