I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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