Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Still dying that you shit outside
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
