It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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