I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
