May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
