How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
