The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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