Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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