I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
