Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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