I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I puked a lego.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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