Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
