just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
